Silence. Golden silent hours fill the early morning, before they waken. Once awake, there’ll be noise, chatter, rushing about, getting ready to leave the house, excitement, stories to tell as we catch up with each other’s week, and the rush to live the life that waits, just outside our door.

What means Mother’s Day in your home?

In ours, it’s a gathering and feeling of commitment within our family. Even if all the kids aren’t home. Even if we’re scattered to the four winds. Even if one is missing from the moment, that one is never far from our collective hearts. Close by, gathered in by love and prayers.

I grew up in a family where my Grandmother, the matriarch of the family for years after my Granddad passed on, was surrounded by family most any day. Including Mother’s Day. The trend continues as we gather close, holding onto family, love and the collective congregation of unity. We gather close. We hold tight.

Mother’s Day is a sensation that lasts all year long.

Generation to generation, the joy of sharing the day, of loving in the moment, brings peaceful love and family dedication. That’s what Mother’s Day means, every day of the year. The love of a family nestled close, no matter how many miles separate us, to the heart.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Was it failure?

Experience is a hard teacher. Sometimes it comes from falling down, but failure? No. Failure isn’t part of experience. Failure is when you quit trying. You give up. You quit moving toward the finish line, and just wait for the end to come. That’s failure.

Experience comes as you get up from the fall, stumble forward on bruised knees and keep moving, maybe slower, maybe with new motivation, perhaps even with new information toward the finish line, toward success. Experience comes with frustrations, injuries, disappointments and disillusionment, but NEVER ever with failure.

Einstein is said to have failed at his attempts to create a light bulb more than 1000 over, but he didn’t fail. He simply learned more than a thousand ways not to make a light bulb. Oh, the joy that comes from trying again and again until you get it right. How many times will you try before you attempt the final achievement that brings you glory, builds your business to success and drives you to the ultimate goals of achievement?

I sat quietly, listening to my friend share her worries and concerns over her child. The desperation she felt over the emotional distress of a child leaving the home unprepared to face the world was more than obvious, but she knew no failure in parenting. She recognized only the lesson she would learn from this experience. Her eyes glowed with unshed tears, a mother’s heart breaking. Yet, she held tight to the love she had for her child. No failure, experience of loving and knowing when others had wrongly accused her. She held onto the knowing that she would never give up on the child she bore. The love she carried from conception to the future would know not one moment of failure, no falling by the wayside of accusation, this mother would stand in the face of challenge and would succeed, because she knew only love.

In moments when she felt unfairly judged, unjustly accused, and emotionally stressed over the situation at hand, she would simply learn, gain experience and continue walking closer to the finish line. She knew that ultimately her child would return and she would be whole again, a mother gaining ground toward the ultimate goal of raising a child who knew love and blessing.

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I realize that every mother experiences the trials and struggles of parenthood. Ever mother experiences them. Some, allow those battles to drag them down and roll them into a ball of suffering failure, when they stop trying… but most… get up and try again, and again, and again, as many times as they must to succeed. Each trial. Each battle. Every single challenge they face battled to the ultimate end as they stand again and walk on to face yet another battle in another new day. Experience brings those mothers who keep moving forward to success.

Happy Mother’s Day – to all the moms with lots of experience and battle scars, who keep moving forward.

Beyond that, there should be no discussion of one person ruling over all the world, a country, a city, or even a household. People need choices.

We spotlighted the high points of downtown, because one of our visitors had developed an unwelcomed tooth ache, but they got to see the most visually interesting parts of the city, including the glass structures we all take for granted, living here. Amazement was revealed over the size of the sky scrapers, the size of beams put into place by sky-cranes and how various buildings look a bit out of sync with the rest of the world, as we drove under overhangs, bridges and sculpture.

I was reminded again of the spirit of a child, learning new information every moment of the day.

Time management is one of those impossible gestures we do when we’re under the gun, pushing all our buttons and still not up to speed. Why didn’t someone warn me that graduating the last child could be as stressful as all the others?

Is the party ready? Do we have a list of attendees for the ceremony? Are we done with the announcements? Did we get enough food? It’s all about the graduate, but I feel like I’m in overdrive and running out of gas.

And to be honest, I’m just the mom. I can’t imagine what my graduate must be going through at this moment, finishing up tests, listening to students being expelled from high school at the end of the year for pulling silly pranks and suffering through senior-itis. UGH. I remember that. Awful!

So what’s really up with all the Mommy Worries?

I can’t answer that question, but I’m ready for that part of this process to go away.

I’m sure he’ll be a fine pastor, and I doubt he’ll put me to sleep during most of his sermon’s, but this morning… I must admit, I nodded off. Exhaustion came swift and sure about the moment he started talking. I managed to drive home from church, started watching movies with the kids, but even that ended in a snooze.

Which is the moment that reminded me of graduation…

My own graduation was coming up fast and I’d spent several weeks studying, determined to ace the few tests I would have to take at the end of the term. On the day of the tests, I arrived at school early determined to pass the final exam and there I sat, in my chosen seat, pencils sharpened, waiting for the teacher to hand out the paper and I made the fatal mistake. I leaned my head down on my desk to rest a moment before the tests were passed out.

I remember hearing the teacher start talking… I remember raising my head and looking at her, straight at her. I even remember thinking I can get through this. I had plenty of sleep last night. The paper was in front of me and I started at the blurred black words on white paper. No focus there. I looked away and blinked then looked back. I couldn’t read a single word.

No, it wasn’t my eyes. It had been the dedication to studying, over and above the sleep I needed to function. If only I’d listened to Mom, when she said, “Get some sleep, it will do you more good.” I should have listened.

I remember staring at the paper for what seemed like an eternity, willing those words to come into focus. Then right there, in the middle of my last final, reality took over and my sleep deprived body shut down. My eyes closed and my head drooped forward. I must have slept for 15 minutes or so, waking up and realizing I still had some time. With the words in focus, I started reading and praying. Before the teacher reminded us to turn our papers over, I answered all but one question. 98% and I slept through the first half of the class. If only I’d realized that I needed that sleep the night before… I’d have felt better during the exam.

If only…

The joy of watching four miracles grow from dirty diapers to (shhhh) dirty jokes and then move beyond the silliness of puberty to something resembling adulthood. I’m reminded that pride is a source of vanity, and I shouldn’t be vain, but then I look at my four miracles and know that I’m definitely proud. Very proud.

Proud, because I know that through all that may have gone wrong, I must have some how, done some things right enough to help them grow and mature into the amazing human beings they are today. I must. MUST. I must have had something to do with it.

The reality, however, may be quite different.

I’ve probably had very little to do with the amazing adults my children have become. While I had an influence over their lives, I’m constantly reminded by them and others of the wrong choices I made. Most of those wrong choices revealed below, in the simple answers to those questions people ask, about how we’ve managed to build such a powerful family dynamic.

It’s a writer thing…

What are you leaving in your legacy? We often think of the big picture, without realizing that the really BIG picture expires when we expire. The dream, if continued, becomes someone else’s dream.

The combined essence of one’s life is caught up in the legacy one leaves to his heirs. It’s a well known fact,  you can’t take it with you. So, thinking hard about leaving the dream… What is the dream? What will carry on?

I think of my mother and her determination to succeed. I can’t imagine a more successful woman, anywhere in the world. Though many have greater wealth, and there are those who have left more behind, my mother left a treasure of dignity, persistence and dedication to family. No greater love had she…

Building the dream… remaining focused on the future and the knowing that whatever it is you’ve held dear and precious, the future will remember. I know there are bits and pieces that might never be remembered, but those things that are dearest, sweetest and most purely filled with love will be remembered forever.

Such that, the strength of the person will carry on forever. Whether you’re a writer, an artist, a person of greatness, or simply one who is dedicated to service to others… Your legacy, the dream… What is it you will leave behind?