Excerpts

Seclusion.

Out of bleak depths headlights glinted in the distance. Cold shivers wrapped around me and pulled me into a new chasm. Fear? I gripped the steering wheel and checked the feeling, realizing that I had no reason to feel fear. A mental note to think good thoughts escaped only to be squelched by the gaping vast darkness of space before me.

“If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands…” whispered words trailed off into the darkness, getting lost in the void.

Answered by the quiet breathing of babies strapped into the seat beside me, I sang the next line.

“Leaning, leaning, on the everlasting arm…” it didn’t matter that my words weren’t in the same song, I held onto the strength portrayed by them as the headlights drew closer. The right headlight jiggled as if it was loose, hanging off to the side, focused on some other place.

“Safe and secure where my Savior leads, I’m following the pathway to God…” a sigh escaped from one quiet baby, and my words faded to a hum.

I turned on the radio and tried to concentrate. I glanced at the speedometer and tried to slow down, but my foot pressed down on the accelerator and the car charged ahead toward the dim lights of the small town further down the road.

An old beater truck parked to the side of the store revealed the owner was alone. I parked in front and lifted the younger of the two babies from her seat. A bag over my shoulder, I opened the door and stepped out.

“We’re here,“ I whispered.

A moment later the other car door opened and a little girl walked beside me into the store.

“Hi, Lola. How‘s it going tonight?” I forced a happy note into my voice and walked straight to a booth in the back of the store.

“Give the kids a sandwich and fries, I‘ll be right here.” I set the baby in a high chair and the sleepy five-year-old took a seat in the booth at the end of the aisle. “Um… Grilled cheese?” I asked my daughter in the booth.

“Okay,” blonde curls bobbed forward and she became occupied with her sister’s hands.

“What’s your husband doing?” Lola started the grilled cheese on the grill near the back room.

“He’s farming today,” I opened the first lock and took out the cash drawer. “This had to be done so I came around to collect.”

“It’s awful late,” Lola put the sandwich on a plate and cut it for the two girls.

“I’ve had broken equipment. I wasn’t sure I’d catch you open,” I answered, noting the bell that rang at the front of the store.

A big man in a dark suit stood near the cash register. His suit coat was buttoned, but roomy enough not to outline the gun and holster I noticed under his arm. He looked like a football player, broad shouldered with no neck and a head that looked disproportionate to his size.

I counted the money and bagged it, staying just out of sight. Lola walked back to the front of the store. I heard her discussing me.

“Yeah, her husband usually collects, but she’s here today.” Lola’s laughter sent chills along my spine. “He says this is the end of a ten thousand dollar day, but she hasn’t said how much she collected today.”

I wanted to stop her from talking, but I didn’t know how.

The girls finished up their sandwich as I bagged the last roll of quarters. The bag was heavier than usual today, I hadn’t yet been to the bank.

“Let’s go,” I nodded to the girls to finish up their meal and go toward the door.

“Done already?” Lola asked from behind the counter.

I laid her share of the cash on the counter and the paper work for her to sign. She signed it and I pulled off her copy and paid her for the sandwich.

“Only $830 today? Was everywhere down?” She asked.

The stranger watched me carry the girls out.

“Pretty much, most places more than this.” I put the kids in the car and dropped the bag in the back seat.

I looked as I walked around the car, but didn’t see a vehicle for the stranger. The girls buckled themselves in, but I checked their belts and pulled the blanket up over the two of them. They needed to be secure and warm before we left the store. My own sense of security was rocking off the rector scale. Insecurity filled me. I locked the doors and started the car.

The road curved toward the highway, but I drove down the street. I searched the night for some sign of security and found none. Near an old garage, a large car parked on the drive with the front right fender bashed. A man stood near the corner of the garage, only the red bud from his cigarette visible in the darkness. I drove around the small country town. Off to the north, I noticed a road leaving town. I pulled the car into a vacant drive and turned off the headlights and the engine.

We sat there for what seemed like hours. I rolled down the window and listened. In the distance I heard a car start and move away from town until I couldn’t hear it anymore. From the sound, I thought it went west.

Without headlights, I backed out of the drive and drove north along the country road. I drove slow watching for lights and other vehicles. At the mile I turned east and found my way back to the highway in the bleak darkness.

Even breaths told me the girls were sleeping as I drove. I tucked the blanket close around them and kept driving. Guided by dim starlight, I followed the highway to the rock post and turned south.

The unmistakable thud, thud of a blown tire greeted me before I got past the turnout where the farmers parked for morning meetings. I pulled off the road and got out of the car. I didn’t turn on the flash light, just got the tools and changed the tire. I listened for any sound of a vehicle off in the distance but heard none. With the tiny spare tire on the car, I tightened the lug nuts and put the blown tire in the trunk. As I closed the trunk lid, the light inside flickered and went off.

I heard a car start a ways off and my heart skipped a beat. I closed the trunk and started my own car, careful to keep my foot off the brake, I clutched it and drove into the night with no lights. On the highway, I risked some speed, moving faster than I might have thought safe in the darkness under other circumstances. I prayed for guidance and drove.

After the first rise, the road made several turns. The headlights behind were coming up fast, until I turned the first time, I stepped on the brake for the second turn and dropped off the edge of the mesa. Out of view, I pulled the lights on and picked up speed. As the town on the other side of the valley came into view, I could see their headlights coming up fast again. I looked around the town, searching for a place with lights. Every house was dark. The town didn’t even have a store. I shivered and started out of town to the south.

I couldn’t take that road.

I turned into a driveway and shut off the headlights. I rolled the window down a bit and waited. Stillness. Blessed silence filled the air and I waited. The drone of truck traffic more than ten miles away on the highway, but I heard nothing nearby.

Dim stars above had been replaced by heavy low-hanging clouds, reflecting what little light existed in the town.

I started the car and backed out of the drive. I turned back into town and east on a dirt road. At the mile a stop sign warned me to turn right. Paved road led most of the way back to the main roads where I could intersect with the highway. With all the crooks and turns in the country road it was hard to tell if I had a tail or not, but an occasional glimpse of what I thought were headlights, told me the car kept coming. When I turned back east on the last straightway, I saw them again not far behind me, one headlight veered off to the side and I knew.

I pushed down on the accelerator, shifted to high gear and felt the car shimmy on the gravel thrown onto the paved road. The car moved ahead, gaining distance over the three miles to the curve. As I topped the rise I braked hard and steered sharply to the right, making the curve with my left tires throwing up gravel from the side of the road.

“Downshift.” The words left my lips, echoing against the windshield as the engine raced.

Behind me, I heard brakes squeal and the ear splitting scream of metal crashing, folding, and glass breaking. The distinctive sound of a large object landing, skidding, and scraping the earth shook me to the core. Flames shot high into the dark sky, and I watched in the rearview mirror through tears streaming down my face as they faded into the distance.

Rain drops pelted the windshield. A few splattered through my open window. Thunder rolled and rumbled low over the valley. Lightening shadowed the clouds overhead, occasionally splintering low toward the river.

I slowed down, aware of the undersized spare tire on the right front side of the car, and drove into the next town. Nothing was open. The police department was quiet and I couldn’t find the one officer who would be awake patrolling the community. Turning east again, I drove toward home.

Rain fell gently from the sky, splattering against the windshield. In the next town, I stopped at an all night convenience store to get something to drink on the last stretch of the trip. Police officers in the store talked about an accident on the back roads, a speeding car out of control had exploded on impact.

No survivors.

I took a long drink from the bottle of cola and put the lid back. Tears steamed down my face as I drove the last miles home.

Heavy fog accompanied me on the drive. The slow drizzle ended at the edge of town. My husband’s truck was parked on the left side of the drive. I carried the baby into the house. My little girl walked in and helped me carry our things. A bag of money, my hand bag and a diaper bag swung from my shoulder.

I tucked my babies into their bed, put the money in the bottom drawer of my desk and pulled off my clothes as I walked into the bedroom. I slid between the sheets. A sigh of relief shivered through me as I curled against my husband’s warm body.

Another day was done.

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(More to be posted…)