Do you ever feel invisible?

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Behind the camouflage wall we build around ourselves, in some diabolic attempt to prevent the pain of judgement from others, do we really believe we’re invisible?

For the first time in several weeks, I was alone yesterday at the house. I’d felt exhausted just getting over a bug, so when the kids left to do their family outing, and a quick meet up invisiblefor work, I stayed home. At first, I took a nap – it was short – the doorbell rang. Some guy selling something or other, and I didn’t even bother to go to the door. I just pretended nobody was home. From less than ten feet away, I watched him try the door handle, then.. rather obviously think better of it and slowly walk away. He kept looking back, as if he knew someone was watching him. I was.

Sleep wasn’t going to happen after that, so I got up and sorted through my friends list on facebook, deleting all the non-existent accounts, and reviewing the names on my list of 5000 friends. Do I know them? Yeah… Many in real life. Some just through politics, or writing, or work, but many are life long friends. People whom I would stop and talk to on the street. And yet, I know ONE person in my neighborhood.

That’s when I realized that I’ve become invisible.

Only one neighbor knows me… I decided to take a short walk up the hill and see if anyone said, “Hello.” So, I pulled on my shoes and took off, up the hill to the corner, thinking I’d turn around and come back from there. But I kept walking, around the whole block. Three people said, “Hello.” One of them asked if I was new in town? I said, “No, I’ve lived here for the past year.” and she said, “I must have been really busy. I hadn’t noticed you.” I just smiled and nodded, knowingly… “I’m invisible.” We laughed and I walked home.

I’ve now met three more neighbors and one is convinced I’m psycho.

The question is – why did I build a wall?

I could come up with at least a million reasons.

Why do I feel invisible?

  • Depressioninvisible woman
  • Feeling abandoned
  • Feeling alone in a strange world
  • Grief
  • Change – too many changes
  • Empty nest
  • Single
  • Lonely
  • Health
  • Emotional overload
  • Financial

I’ve experienced all of them, many more than once, and some more often than I care to count… Why wouldn’t I struggle?

Then, there’s a concept that I truly believe:

Life is 10% what happens to you, 90% what you do about it. 

I’ve spent a life time, choosing to be happy wherever I landed. But can’t I change the landing?

I’m going to change the landing. That’s my goal. That’s what I want to do.

For me. Yes. But more for my family. For my kids. For my grandkids.

I want to pull down the wall, remove the camo, and live better.

How about you?

Are you invisible?

Are you making the right choices?

Are you ready to make a change?

We can do this together! Let’s do this…

obstacles

One Comment

  • Emmaline

    I think we all struggle with invisibility when we’re going through major life transitions, are under stress, or entering a new phase in our lives. For me, it is about trying to figure-out what I want this next phase to look like. There is much less road in front of me compared to what is behind me. I want to make a difference. I want to make these last years count. I also want to enjoy this last stage of life. I’ve worked hard, and things haven’t always been easy. Far from it. I want to love and hold my family and friends close to me, and let them know how much I love them. I also want to share my wisdom with my children, grandchildren, friends and family, in hopes of making their lives, and our country better. I want to leave this life knowing I’ve made things better. Right now, that dream is on a slippery slope. There are forces out there that are working against me. It saddens me to my core. When I think about how hard my ancestors worked to etch-out a life, and how selflessly they gave to their country, it nearly brings me to tears to see people spewing hate-speech towards Americans. I spend a lot of time in another country, and it is shocking to see anti-American sentiment being leveled against Americans. Both in person and on social media. Our past president encouraged this sentiment, and apologized for behaviors far less offensive than what is commonplace around the world. He, in fact,fabricated offenses by Americans to promote this border-less, One World Order, Agenda 21 propaganda. So yes, I feel invisible. The left doesn’t seem concerned, and even promotes this agenda like a flock of sheep blindly following their shepard. Many people I love and care about are blindly following.

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