Fill the Silence

You have a voice…

Spiritual WarfareGrey’s Anatomy is one of our family ‘shows’ – if there’s ever been a series, or video that we ‘watch’ this is it. And Meredith Grey is one of my favorite characters.

Occasionally, there’s a lesson to be learned, and I get it.

I get it.

Forgive and let go of the anger. 

I’ve never been one to hold grudges, but when people just keep doing the same stupid stuff over and over, I tend to call them out.

controlI may forgive and move on, but I don’t let people keep coming back and screwing me over, time after time. There’s a point where I’m just done. I may move on. I may even forgive. But I don’t let people back in ‘the door.’

It’s that old, “Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me.” thing. I tend to guard my heart and keep the protection in place.

It isn’t a grudge. It isn’t even anger. But I don’t let you back in after a while.

Talking, communicating is okay. And I’ll be polite, but you have to earn your way back into the inner circle.

It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

It means I no longer am able to trust you to be who you say you are, because you’ve convinced me that you’re not trustworthy. You have to earn that back. Saying it isn’t enough.

The question then is how to earn back the trust?

In business, you can earn back the trust by:

  • using integrity in business dealings.
  • giving more than you take.
  • showing the real YOU in your business exchanges.
  • sharing concepts of your existing business.
  • applying quality standards to your products & services.

These are all steps you can take in your professional relationships, and you can most likely apply them to personal relationships too.

A big issue with personal relationships comes about when one person, usually the person who wants to be forgiven, begins making controlling demands. If you’re trying to earn back the trust of another person, don’t attempt to control that person, let it go.

Ask for forgiveness and walk away. Let them make their own decision and stop attempting to control them.

ForgivenessAny effort made to control a person, after you’ve apologized and asked them to forgive you, is an indication that you didn’t mean a single word you said. Let it go.

Building relationships can be difficult, but if you’re willing to communicate and make the effort, you’ll find ways to connect. Use your voice. Fill the silence. Don’t overdo it. And stop attempting to control others. Let them make their own choices and be their own person. It will benefit both of you over the long haul of a relationship.

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