“Lord, make me be more. Bring me boldly before others, a leader among men.” ~Jan Verhoeff
Just last year…
I got caught up in the fuss of being what others wanted me to be, and found myself stuck in a place I didn’t want to be. I’ve never been a follower, and finding myself in a situation where I couldn’t be the woman I am meant to be hurt. I wasn’t ‘that girl’ and I didn’t want to be ‘there’.
Even so, I had to own the choices that had brought me to that point.
So, there I was.
As happens every single time you turn it over to God, He shows you the way.
During the most trying autumn of my life, God put me in a place where I would find a mentor, guide to share the lessons. Finding peace, growing my own sense of stability, and finding my ‘center’ again, meant listening to God’s word, in a way I’d never heard it before. It truly meant hearing what God was saying to me.
“If you can’t stay focused on Jesus in the valley, you won’t be able to find him on the mountain top. Make Jesus the center of your life, and never lose him.” ~Grandma, Addie McEndree
There was a moment of revelation when I realized that no matter where I was, God could and would protect me, and keep me safe. Now, what that means to others may not mean the same thing to me, but in that moment, the reveal was huge…
I was sitting in a parking lot in what I thought was a safe area, until I realized there was a huge gang walking toward me. I couldn’t have started the truck and left before they could get to my truck. I prayed… “Lord, make me invisible. I don’t want them to see me.”
They didn’t stop, they just kept coming… As if they were going to attack the truck, they walked straight at me. Fear may have been gripping me at that moment, I don’t know, but I had both hands on Jesus, pulling him closer, and begging Him to be there in my worst moment. I wasn’t moving. Just praying, and watching through barely opened eyes. My right hand reached for the key, and I was fumbling for the right one to stick in the starter, if that moment came. I was prepared to do what I had to do.
About five feet before they got to my truck, the first three turned to the left and walked a different direction. Another turned to the right and walked totally around my truck, and the next four went to the left. About three car lengths away, they stopped, stood there ant talked. I heard one of them say, “Did you know there was a rock in this parking lot?”
They kept talking about the rock, and one of them said, “I’ve walked through here several times, I don’t remember that big boulder.” I recognized him as the one who had walked around the truck.
They gathered, talked for a while, and when they left, they went back the direction they’d come from, as if they’d had a purpose there. But their purpose was gone. Once they were out of sight, I started the truck and drove away.
For hours after that I thought about what happened, even considered the possibility that they were messing with my mind, but I kept coming back… I’d asked the Rock of the Universe to hide me, make ME invisible to them, how much better job could He have done than to Cover me, show himself, the ROCK, and hide me from their view?
The prayer of Jabez has for years been posted above my desk, and I prayed it many times throughout the day as I worked.
Enlarge my territory… Could that mean, enlarge my faith? Could I have been praying all these years, that God would supernaturally expand my faith to include all things possible?
On that morning, just one year ago, when my prayer was, “Lord, make me be more…” I was asking God to lift me up, set me on higher ground, and give me strength to speak out and lead. What came through those next few months were at the very least a training session, setting my feet on solid ground, giving me strength, courage, and ‘making me be more’ in ways I didn’t understand at the time. God was fulfilling my prayers, answering my plea, and preparing me for the message I had to share.
But more than that, God put me in a place where I could hear stories. Stories of triumph, stories of winning, stories where God’s hand guided others to safety, to the place where He wanted them to be. And even more, I learned something that I’d heard through the years, but wasn’t quite sure of…
God doesn’t call those who are prepared, He prepares those whom He calls.
My message to you, today…
If you feel God leading you to a specific place, or to do a job, or to fill a role in life, don’t hesitate to go where he leads.
God found Gideon in a hole. He found Joseph in a prison. He found Daniel in a lion’s den. He has a curious habit of showing up in the midst of trouble, not the absence. Where the world sees failure, God sees future.
Next time you feel unqualified to be used by God, remember this:
He tends to recruit from the pit, not the pedestal.
He may not call you to be AMAZING. He may just want you to be faithful.
My desire to lead, may be nothing more than God calling me to lift others into positions of power, fulfillment of His word, and the opportunity to Glorify Him.
I’m willing Lord, whatever be my calling…