Do you ever just feel like your heart can’t take another single hit, from anything?
Life can be brutal. Even when you’re living a blessed life, worthy of God’s blessing and abundance, you may not always feel blessed by the life cards you’ve drawn.
I frequently find myself hitting the floor on my knees begging for God’s mercy, and yet, I know in a world of pain and hurt, I’m blessed with the benefits of God’s love, and the love of many others. That doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t hurt.
My heart hurts…
There are so many things that can go wrong in life, to make you hurt. From losing a loved one, to a child leaving home, divorce, custody battles, losing a job you love, moving from a home that you’ve called yours for many years, or feeling secure in your life choices and something changes. So many things can shift gears and rip your heart to shreds. Life can change in a heart beat, and your heart can be broken.
The struggle to recover can leave your heart broken, a hurting heart, or there might be a mending. Mending a broken heart doesn’t look like a healed heart… It looks like a mended heart. It feels like a mended heart. Because as time goes on, you feel the pain of the broken heart sometimes, long after it’s mended. Sometimes you just feel the pain.
Sometimes a mended heart hurts.
The key to mending your hurting heart is to understand first and foremost why it’s hurting. Are you hurting because of a dynamic event? Or is your heart hurting because you’re holding onto the pain to prevent further experiences of pain?
Several weeks back, I had an experience that set me reeling into the abyss. I felt as if the pain was fresh, right then, aggravated by a current event, and newly injured again, by life. To be perfectly honest, when it happened, it felt kind of good to know exactly where the borders of my hurting heart were, so I could lift out that painful piece of my heart and hold it securely in my hand, threatening never to let it fill up the space in my heart again, because that hurting piece had betrayed me.
My hurting heart had betrayed me.
You see, the missing piece of my heart is abandonment. That’s how I was hurt, and how I keep feeling and finding the hurt. Sometimes I hang onto it like a trophy prize, refusing to put it back, because I don’t want to ever feel that again. I don’t want to be triggered into feeling that pain. I don’t want to know that pain. I don’t want to ever feel that pain again. In fact, given the option, I would toss that piece of my heart to the four winds and never put it back, because it hurts that much… But then… Then I realized that I have the power to either put it back, or leave it out.
And I knew… I would put it back.
I want it to heal up. I want my heart to be whole again. I want to feel everything. I want to feel loved. If you can’t feel abandoned, you can’t feel loved. And that’s when I realized that my year, this year, was going to be different. Because I can face the challenge. I’ve been facing it for a while now, and I know… I know that I’m up to the challenge to feel whole again, to feel loved, to feel everything, including if it happens again, abandonment. I’m there. I get it. I know I can do this.
I have confidence.
What’s the one thing you want to do this year? What’s your word? Leave me a note below and tell me what you want to accomplish this year.