Warning: I’m going to really whine for a bit. But there’s value in the whine, if you’re interested in learning something important.
Yeah, It’s tax day. It’s Monday. It’s a whole horror show with two long threads. My taxes were the only ones I didn’t do until today.
They were ready to do, I had all the numbers, and the details were in my folder. But I hadn’t put them on paper. I kept staring at the ‘possible results’ and to be perfectly honest, I was terrified of what the end might say.
I kept looking at the revenue/expense numbers and thinking how sad they all looked, mostly in red. Last year was horrible on more levels than I can count. Besides the fact that I got hacked. 54 websites GONE. Many of these, niche sites that were making several hundred dollars a year, until they weren’t.
The ultimate cost of the websites, the loss of income, and the cost of hiring tech services for almost a full month, more than full time, some at really HIGH costs, frightened me beyond belief. I knew, for the first time in my career of marketing online, I went in the hole – DEEP. I lost a lot of cash income all in one whack, and then, the cost.
It was more than just the cost of the work put into the sites, and the time I’d spent prior to the hackers hitting them, but it was a loss of future revenue on the sites, and in several cases, the loss of revenues from publications that had been years in the making. Books were ready to publish. I’d edited, organized, and detailed each post, preparing it to pull for publication. Some of them more than 365 pages of posts, because three of the sites had daily/annual devotionals on them. The worst part, was the realization that I wasn’t the only one that was hurt by these actions. There were other writers, other authors who had participated in building the devotional sites, the pages of prayers and devotions, Bible verses, and personal stories revealed on those sites.
I wasn’t the only one with huge losses.
And I couldn’t even face the cost of those losses. I really didn’t want to know. In fact, I seriously considered sending the details to someone else to do the final paperwork, because I just did not want to know.
Procrastination can be a God thing.
When the mail came today, there was an envelope with a form letter in it. Suddenly, the realization that a book proposal had been accepted on a book that no longer exists, because it had been written, prepared, and published online, in preparation for the publication, spurred me to finish the tax forms and figure out how much was literally on the chopping table.
Would it be worth the effort to rewrite it? Would I even be able to rewrite it? Was there enough of what I had left on my computer to sort through, rewrite, and publish the book?
I ran the numbers, entered them in the forms, and finished my taxes for last year. Yes, I lost money. But not as much as I had the year before (which is another story, but just as horrifying). I lost money, but I’d made money too. I’d made enough money to feel it was worth the investment to pursue rewriting the devotional that now has a proposed contract.
I called the publisher and asked for an extended deadline with an explanation. I got it.
I printed off the tax forms, signed them, and they’ll go out shortly – when I drop them off at the post office.
And, I learned the ultimate lesson…
When it all seems to be for naught. When the whole world has crashed down around you. Give it to God and let him make the final decision, because HE knew the situation from the beginning and HE most likely has a plan of redemption.
I feel redeemed, and this entire year of struggle, that landed on a Monday to become a horror story, will have a happy ending, because I got a contract and a new deadline. I’m in.